Tag Archives: running

I’m tired

I apologize in advance for my post being the introduction to the most depressive day of the year (tomorrow, January 16) but I need to let this out.

I’ve been feeling tired for quite some time now and being who I am, I kept trying to fix that. I don’t like feeling tired. But it seems I am tired of so many things, many of which I can’t fix.  I can write them down though, hoping this might make me feel a bit better.

In no particular order of importance, I’m tired of:

… egotistical people. Lying. People having no manners. People being rude because they think that makes them powerful. Powerplays in general.

… politicians. Everywhere. Being everything I mentioned in the first bullet plus having no shame. I always wondered about that – how do you get to a place where you feel no shame? You know you’re lying, people know you’re lying and there is just no shame. How do you become such a person?

…people not being honest with themselves and consequently with no one else. I know it’s not easy to be honest with oneself, as none of us is perfect and admitting you’re wrong takes courage. But it would make all interaction meaningful. And this world a much better place.

…so much unmeaningful chatter. It’s everywhere. Maybe it’s just me not seeing meaning in most conversations.

… of not being able to run because I can’t find what’s wrong with my back because it’s impossible to get an MRI for a year. At least. Unless you want to pay for it privately. Which makes the fact that we all have social healthcare we pay for quite a lot sort of redundant.

… not having time and energy to see my friends and talk to them.

… no longer reading or writing. Of smelling perfumes.

… being required to do many things at the same time because otherwise no work will be done in time (both at work and privately).

… opening my social media feeds and reading about everything I just listed here.

… of people not taking responsibility and owning up to their own shit. Most of the time it is NOT someone else’s fault. Be an adult and admit you’re not always right and that you make mistakes.

… more and more lax educational standards. That cannot lead to a prosperous future.

… patriarchy. Wannabe patriarchy. Chauvinism. Bringing me back to human decency and powerplays. It shouldn’t be that difficult to be a decent human being and mind your own business and let others do the same.

… feeling guilty. I know this one is just my own,  letting other people make me feel so. I need to learn to stand up more for myself. But I firmly believe it shouldn’t be so. It’s again basic decency – I’m not doing anything to hurt anybody, why in the world with all the criticism?!

… feeling like no one wants to tell the truth. It’s all criticism to get someone to act the way you want them to, passive-aggressive behaviour and generally people wanting to control other people. I know what that says about them but the problem is they don’t.

… being tired because stress has caused a disbalance in my hormones. It’s nothing big but it is big enough to make me feel tired most of the time. And then it’s a vicious circle getting motivated to exercise and bring back energy.

Mostly I’m just tired of wondering where is this world going to? 

Does this mean I’m getting old? 

I used to think the world is going on with some problems but generally in a good direction. Now I no longer have a good feeling about it.

I’ll leave you with a song that’s been on repeat for me for quite some time.

https://youtu.be/u9Dg-g7t2l4

My New year’s resolutions

(not that they usually do me any good, I just basically follow my own way 😉 )

But, I woke up today with all the possibilities for this year clear in my head and with a strong urge to make them happen. Who knows, maybe now when I write them down, some of them actually happen. 🙂 I.E. I make them happen. 😉

1. Write more. Especially about perfume (there are many great perfumes I’ve tried lately that I want to write about).

2. Get organized – I have this feeling that if I get my different parts of my life better organized, it would make me faster when doing something and less stressed when I’m in a hurry

3. De-clutter all aspects of my life. I really feel I have too much stuff. Yes, I love shopping (I’m a true consumerist) but I would enjoy my stuff more if it didn’t get lost among all other stuff. 🙂

4. Figure out what is it that I want to do. Really want to do.

5. Do more yoga. Or pilates. It goes extremely well with running. And does wonders for my lower back.

6. Relax. I’m a really tense person who wants everything right now. I realized I have a problem enjoying the moment so I want to learn how to do that. Or just be more aware of it so I can enjoy life more. There’s no hurry. 😉

7. Keep on running. Ok, that’s nothing new but running helps me in so many ways that I just want to keep on doing it.

While on the subject of summer and races

In September I went to a race in Umag – a wine race no less and that was the best experience ever as there were stations with food (cheese, prosciutto and cakes) and drinks (wine, water and juice) every 2-3 kilometers. Luckily for me, I didn’t run a half-marathon there because with all that food it would have been rather difficult, but was a part of a team and ran 7km.
Just right to enjoy the offerings… 😉

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Tired of feeling guilty

My post yesterday got me thinking how I feel guilty for not writing more. I keep saying (almost promising) to myself and my readers I’ll write more but then life takes over and I’m busy, or tired, or don’t feel any inspiration to write, sometimes what I want to say feels stupid so it never gets published and times just passes.guilty

And I keep making myself feel guilty for not living up to self-imposed obligations that really have no reason to be there in the first place. Making myself feel guilty over things I love doing will only do the opposite, create a negative reaction to them.

So today I decided I will not make myself feel guilty over anything. 🙂 And I’m not going to say failure is not an option here because that would again imply that I have to do it otherwise I would feel guilty. See how easy it is for me to get into that vicious circle?!

And this guilt doesn’t only cover writing. It covers many things I’d like to do in my regular life, run more, get out more, read more, do more. But, a day only has 24 hours, and what with sleeping and working, free time is limited.

So feeling guilty for not being able to put it all into that little time slot I have is basically ridiculous. The stuff you do for yourself, in your free time, should make you feel good all the time.

Therefore, I refuse to feel guilty over  things that make me happy just because I can’t find the time or energy to do them as often as I’d like. I should be happy I can do them.dr seuss

I AM happy there is time in my life to do them, however rare or often it happens.

Do you ever feel guilty for not doing everything you think you should?

Wings for Life World Run

Was an event happening yesterday in 34 countries around the world and all I can say that I am proud I participated.

In Croatia the run was in Zadar, starting at the Greeting to the Sun (I find the name strange in English but that’s how they call it on their site) and then it went on by the coast towards south.

The naive me thought that meant we would be running along the sea coast but that wasn’t the case. Still, it was a good run (you could see the sea in the distance and sometimes close by).

Now I see I started talking about things I didn’t plan on. 🙂

What I wanted to say is that we were all running for people who can’t. That was the motto of the race: Running for those who can’t. 

All the money is going into research of spinal damage and when they say all, they do actually mean all. All entry fees are being pooled into the fund, the event was funded by Red Bull and no amount of fee is being appropriated for the cost of organizing the races.

Being part of an event like this was very important to me because I have a friend who broke his neck two years ago and although his recovery was miraculous (he was only 17 at the time), he is someone who, unless they find a magical cure, will never run. So my run was for him.

The next year’s event is already planned for May 3. I urge you all to participate because it’s the most unusual race.

You run as much as you can. Because the Catcher car starts chasing you half an hour after the start and once it passes you by, the race is over for you. 🙂

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The winner in Zadar being caught by car (also, the main trainer in my club – we are all so proud) Pic stolen from Wings for Life Croatia Facebook site

The good thing is that it doesn’t mean you have to run back, you only need to get to the nearest shuttle stop and the buses are there to take you back.

It makes for quite an experience. 🙂

And here are some pics, some made by my fellow runners website and one mine.

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In the bus going back

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Happy before the race

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Happy after the race (that buff look is not good on me) – you can see the sea in the background

2013. The year that was

I have no better words to describe it. It was, it’s over now.

I look back on it and all I can think is, thankfully, it’s over. Nothing bad happened to me but it still felt like a bad year, full of bad news (both domestic and international), lethargy, indifference, deaths – generally, a year that didn’t display human kind at its best (an understatement) and did display it at some of its worst.

I always feel guilty for thinking like this, I feel I am being ungrateful. Compared to most of the world, I lead a life of plenty. And realistically speaking, it’s true. I lack for nothing, quite the contrary, I have a great family, a nice job, a good education, great circle of friends. I live in a beautiful country. I travel. I can buy perfumes and books. I am also healthy and hopefully will remain so.

So why feel like my year was one I just went through? Because it was. It mostly feels like a year where I went through all the motions of my everyday life when actually it felt more like hibernation with some small sparks of life.

But I want to focus on all the positive things this year brought me (because it feels like the hibernation period might be over) and one should always bring in the new year on a positive note. 🙂

 

PERFUME

This year has brought me some true treasures. 🙂black smoke

I discovered Cuirelle by a lucky chance and fell in love completely.

Suzanne opened my eyes to what incredibly happy perfume 24, Faubourg is.

I listened to Maurice Roucel give a talk on perfumes and met some new perfume friends.

And then the new Puredistance Black came out. And speaking of black, it really has become my favorite color to wear.

 

 

BOOKS

I discovered I am hooked to post-apocalyptic novels of any and every caliber – YA, horror, zombie, romance – you name it, I’ll probably enjoy it. I do wonder about what that says about me because I’m scared of the actual possibility (some of them sound too realistic). Am I preparing for the possibility?!passage

I haven’t read World War Z but I did see the movie and loved it. I’m guessing the book is better. When someone asks me what I want for birthday, that will be on my list (although I can already see the eye-rolling accompanying my wish for more books). 😀

I also think I will never reach my annual goal of 100 books. Last year I came closest, but this year, I think it’s the worst so far. Maybe I should sign up for the 50 books a year challenge, I would be able to finish that one. 😉

 

THE REST

The highlights of my year have been the trips to Vienna and Rome. In Vienna I finally got to meet the lovely Birgit and her boys, with an additional surprise of meeting Sandra and her son as well.

Rome was a trip we planned while in Paris in 2012. I cannot say how happy I am that I got to meet with Suzanne, Mark and Asali in Rome again. I thought there wasn’t a city in the world that could remove Paris from the top of my list of places I would love to live, but there’s Rome. I love that city and I hope to visit it again soon.

View from the park above Spanish steps

View from the park above Spanish steps

It might seem like I had a very active year, what with finishing 4 half-marathons in 3 different countries, but that was an uphill fight all the time, as all I wanted to do was stay home and read, and not go out and run. Still, you can’t tell that from the races, so at least it looked good on the outside. 😉

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See how tired I was?!

But I took time off for the last two months as I needed to replenish my physical and psychological energy levels. I actually feel better now.

So, without further ado,

Wishing you all a successful, fulfilling New Year full of happiness, laughter and joy!

*off to toast to that with a glass of champagne*

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Running

That seems to be the theme of my life these days. Not only do I go running regularly, I also seem to have a lot of things that need doing so I’m running around trying to finish them all.

I have no idea how that happened and when I look back, I cannot pinpoint a moment where I lost control and running (around) became the theme of my life. The good thing about it though, is that I also seem to be getting a lot more accomplished this way.

Yesterday I ran my second half-marathon. I still have a hard time believing I started running and 21km later I stopped. OK, so it lasts much longer for me than it does for many others but I get there in the end (and not as the last person). At what point did my idea to do something for my general fitness rampantly run away and made me a person who can run a half-marathon? I have no idea. I just know I love it. (I don’t love the fact that I have a hard time walking today as my muscles ache somewhat incredibly)

But I believe in there lies the reason why I can run around these days and get a lot done. Even when I don’t feel like I have enough energy, it’s there and I go through my chores and still have time to read more than several months ago.

I understand now how people get hooked on running and never give it up. I sincerely hope I never give it up either as it brought me nothing but good. Ok, except for when I get so hungry I feel I could eat a horse and then I proceed to eat a lot. 🙂

I realize I’ve been rambling in this post but I wanted to share my love of running with you and since I am still tired from yesterday, I can’t get my thoughts to follow a coherent pattern.

In the end, I decided to share the photo of me before the finish line even though running photos generally make you look like you are suffering in hell. 🙂

Btw, I should add here I feel very lucky that the next half-marathon our school is wanting us to go to, is in spring. 😉

 

Pic taken by Zvonimir Mikasek of www.3sporta.com

 

I didn’t disappear, I’m here and I smell great

(at least I believe I do). 😉

It’s been a hectic few weeks and there are still some things I need to finish before I can say I finally closed several of my projects (some extremely long-term).
But the greater part of work is done and the things I have left to do are those that will bring me a feeling of strength, inner peace and fulfillment.

Before the race

Most if it will become apparent if I’m successful at it, after the next weekend when for the first time in my life I plan to run the half-marathon in Zagreb.
What worries me about that is that the last two weeks, due to many obligations I had (from the beginning sentence) stopped me from attending the trainings regularly. Out trainer told me that I shouldn’t worry, we did run 20km once already, just to take it slowly – I mean, I will not be racing anyone, I’m a complete beginner and for me the biggest success is actually finishing. But, still, I worry.

Well, you’ll know soon enough how well I did as I plan letting everyone know about the enthusiasm I will feel after running for so long (here we’re talking about more than 2 hours as I’m a really slow runner). 🙂
And I know there will be enthusiasm as that is exactly what I felt after running 20km for the first time and how I felt after finishing my first ever race of 12,4 km – the photos are from that day.

To get back to smelling great. 🙂
I attended an ISO education this whole week and as I was around new people in a relatively small room, I took more care than usual to what I was going to apply.


Just before the finish line

I can say that Cruel Gardenia always works for me as a great choice when around people in a work setting. It has a mellowness to it that makes anyone who comes close to you consider you less serious than you might appear.
As I was told by one of the attendees on the last day, I completely changed everyone’s initial thoughts about me being very strict and serious and looking like I’m going to only work and not have any fun at it.
So, in cases like that, a mellow perfume that is so easily liked seems like a good strategy.
The other perfume of my strategy was Iris Nobile by Acqua di Parma. Similar in the effect as Cruel Gardenia, only iris based.
I’m still wondering how different people perceive me from how I think of myself.

And as the nights are getting colder and colder, I’m finally again wearing Shalimar to bed. 🙂

P.S. I firmly believe the camere used for taking some of these photos adds weight. 😉

The unexpected joys of running

As some of you might know, I decided to join a running school this year and it’s been 5 weeks now that I’m going. Albeit not completely regularly but as an Aquarian with so many self-inflicted obligations, the only way I can live with them if I skip them sometimes.

Therefore, it is obvious I am not 100% regular, but I do make it to 2 out of 3 weekly trainings.

I can see the smiles as you read running schoold. 🙂 This is the second year Adidas is organizing this in Zagreb (this time in other Croatian cities as well) in order to promote running as a healthy choice for city people. After initial testing, we were separated into 3 groups and are following a program made for each group. The program is difficult enough that if you skip more than once, you will feel it the next time you’re there (so I try and keep to schedule, but honestly life does interfere).

Anyway, today’s training was a bit eye-opening in the manner that I enjoyed the running for the first time. Up to now, it’s been a constant battle with my body over the fact that my lungs seemed to have a problem with oxygen. 🙂 And then, my stiff shoulders protested and tended to constrict even more so I was leading a battle between my mind and my body.
My shoulders are finally easing down (and my pilates instructor can’t believe that running is helping me after all the effort she put into that) and my breathing is getting a rhythm my body can follow and now to the joys.

Well, there are the obvious joys of meeting new people, doing something good for your body, feeling your levels of fitness actually rising (I find it incredible how fast you can the signs of improvement, little, but they’re there), enjoying the fresh air (as we are running alongside the river running across Zagreb), releasing stress…

The unexpected joy happened today – someone in front of me was it seems wearing a tuberose perfume – which wafted in front of my nose for the duration of our running stretch. A good tuberose perfume I should add. 🙂

The other unexpected joy was meeting a friend from my university rowing days running in the opposite direction.

And the third unexpected joy is realizing you can actually do it (I’ll see if I’ll get into enough shape to run the half-marathon they are certain they can shape us up for) – and coming home realizing you keep smiling for no reason, but out of sheer joy. 🙂

Before you all go thinking it’s all fun and joy, I should add there are some unexpected problems as well.

Like, realizing your feet aren’t used to running so they ache during and after (it passes quickly). The same goes for your legs – it’s not your muscles which get overworked but some strange aches appear in tendons and parts I don’t know how to name.
Not to mention the fact that 3 times a week gets your body exhausted and you don’t have time to recuperate completely (hence me skipping some – and that helps me a lot).

But the basic line is, it’s a great body-mind exercise and if you listen to your body – it becomes joyful and fun fast. 🙂

P.S. Of course I’m using it as a way to lose a bit weight as well (as the pics of me from the school demonstrate I’m in dire need of that, even though they are a bit exaggerated, I hope) so it came as a great coincidence that I was pointed to this site yesterday in order to finally be able to count what I eat and its exact contents.  So Slim Kicker, I hope it works as a diet tool for me.

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