Tag Archives: I’ve been thinking

Thoughts on Eat, Pray, Love

I can’t believe it took me so long to finally see this movie. And then it happened by accident. I guess some things find you at the right time which is what I think happened here.

Like the movie that found me, the book hasn’t yet so I don’t know how much justice the movie does it, but in my case it doesn’t really matter. I connected with the story quite well.

Yes, I had some thoughts on the general possibility of just quitting your daily life and leaving for a year to learn about food and meditation for a normal person. Many of us cannot afford something like that even though I think we all would love to be able to do it.

But that in my opinion is not the point of the story. For me, the point is to be brave enough to follow your heart even though everyone else thinks you’re crazy. To put it mildly. πŸ™‚ The problem, though, is that most of us can’t hear what our heart is actually saying.

Ok, I’ll re-phrase myself. Maybe the bravest thing is to be willing to hear what your heart is telling you because that might (actually should) lead you on your soul’s quest. And honestly, how many of us are brave enough to leave our comfort zones to follow the path that is uniquely ours? Even if that journey will bring new friends into our lives and experiences that will make us more complete? Because embarking on such a journey is always a risk and never comes without its own pitfalls to drag you back into your comfort zone.

I want to be brave like that.

How about you?

Happy New Year!

I know I’ve been seriously MIA for quite a long time and I won’t say I plan on fixing it. I always plan and then my plans go down the drain (that’s a diplomatic way of saying what I’m actually thinking) so now no more planning but living life.

I actually miss the community that blogging has introduced me into and I miss the fulfillment that writing about perfumes and books had brought me. Hopefully, when a longing becomes strong enough, you do something about it.

That is why I want to wish you all a very happy New Year where you realize what your true longings are and go about fulfilling them. πŸ™‚

If you know them already, all the better. πŸ˜‰

champagne

Snowflakes

Are the kisses of winter.

I only realized this today, walking home while snow was falling.

I’m a winter child. I have always loved winter and especially snow. There is that special smell in the air before it starts falling, crisp and clean, like the snow itself.

Just one more reason to love snow – because it smells right.

But today, walking while snow falls on my face, I realized snowflakes feel like little kisses of winter. They lightly fall on the face and feel like little butterfly caresses all over. I especially enjoyed those touching my eyelashes because nothing can actually touch your eyelashes so softly. And one fell on the top of my nose and remained there as a drop to remind me winter loves to kiss the tip of my nose too.

I can’t help it, I’ve been waiting all winter for snow to fall in Zagreb, and now it did, it feels like a present for my birthday month.

One that came with thousands of winter kisses.

Kresley Cole: Wicked Abyss

Or, is it possible that my love of reading is coming back?

The song You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’Β (the one from Top Gun) keeps playing in my head when I think of books and perfumes. πŸ™‚ I mean, it’s true, I did. (lose that loving feeling)

I’m not sure how (although I have my thoughts on that) but I did.

wicked abyss

Well, hopefully it will slowly come back. I actually read the book from the title and I’m in the middle or reading another one.

I’m also using perfumes outside the 2 I kept in rotation. Baby steps. πŸ˜‰

But to get back to the book.

I’m not going to go much into details. What struck me as a bit strange was the use of Abyssian’s powerful position to hurt Lila (psychologically) because he could and had the need to. Considering the atmosphere we live in now.

 

Ok, so he’s had a really tortured childhood and is not in the best psychological frameΒ of mind to accept goodness but still, I couldn’t help but think of all the excuses made for such cases.

 

And before this turns into a critic, the story turned around and I felt happy with how Ms Cole resolved the whole situation.Β  I love strong female characters (even when I can’t understand where they are coming from) and a good love story can’t hurt. πŸ˜‰

 

Btw, when I say a good love story I mean, steamy sex scenes. πŸ˜‰ There is a reason after all why these romance novels (of any kind) are so popular. πŸ˜€

Oh, and yes, there is a love story in there as well. πŸ˜‰

A tale of friendship and love

I’ve been meaning to re-read this book for 15 years. Ever since the movies came out and I started forgetting why I was upset with them when they didn’t stick to the story but were good enough that I watched them again and again until the story of the book lay forgotten in the background of my mind.

This summer I finally read it again. And even though I said in the title it’s a story about friendship and love I would actually call it a story about friendship=love. Because one is so inextricably connected to the other.

So much so that by end of the book you feel your heart constrict with feelings of love and friendship you feel for the characters and you actually feel the depth of the emotions they have for each other.

I wish for so much pure love and friendship to be felt by everyone. What I don’t wish so much is the pain you need to go through to get to the point where true love is forged from it. Because roads like that don’t always end with people becoming true.

But as one of the characters says in the book:

It’s like in the great stories Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it’s only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it’ll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand, I know now folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going because they were holding on to something.

I guess that is enough of a clue to say that true and pure emotion never comes without some hard effort. Although in this case it’s vice versa. Sacrifice came because the heart was pure and love of life made them go forth.

I guess now it’s clear what book is it that I re-read. ☺

I remember now why I loved this book so much. And why later Harry Potter made such an impact too.

It is so easy to turn your eyes to the other side and pretend it’s none of your business. I admit I do it too. I have a hard time dealing with the harsh realities of life. But I do wish to be brave and not give up. And I wish it was everyone’s wish. Just to be a bit braver.

Because even if it’s fantasy, it was conceived by a real life person – the possibility of resilience born out of friendship and love to succeed over all odds and win in the end.

Why shouldn’t that be possible in real life?

I’m tired

I apologize in advance for my post being the introduction to the most depressive day of the year (tomorrow, January 16) but I need to let this out.

I’ve been feeling tired for quite some time now and being who I am, I kept trying to fix that. I don’t like feeling tired. But it seems I am tired of so many things, many of which I can’t fix.  I can write them down though, hoping this might make me feel a bit better.

In no particular order of importance, I’m tired of:

… egotistical people. Lying. People having no manners. People being rude because they think that makes them powerful. Powerplays in general.

… politicians. Everywhere. Being everything I mentioned in the first bullet plus having no shame. I always wondered about that – how do you get to a place where you feel no shame? You know you’re lying, people know you’re lying and there is just no shame. How do you become such a person?

…people not being honest with themselves and consequently with no one else. I know it’s not easy to be honest with oneself, as none of us is perfect and admitting you’re wrong takes courage. But it would make all interaction meaningful. And this world a much better place.

…so much unmeaningful chatter. It’s everywhere. Maybe it’s just me not seeing meaning in most conversations.

… of not being able to run because I can’t find what’s wrong with my back because it’s impossible to get an MRI for a year. At least. Unless you want to pay for it privately. Which makes the fact that we all have social healthcare we pay for quite a lot sort of redundant.

… not having time and energy to see my friends and talk to them.

… no longer reading or writing. Of smelling perfumes.

… being required to do many things at the same time because otherwise no work will be done in time (both at work and privately).

… opening my social media feeds and reading about everything I just listed here.

… of people not taking responsibility and owning up to their own shit. Most of the time it is NOT someone else’s fault. Be an adult and admit you’re not always right and that you make mistakes.

… more and more lax educational standards. That cannot lead to a prosperous future.

… patriarchy. Wannabe patriarchy. Chauvinism. Bringing me back to human decency and powerplays. It shouldn’t be that difficult to be a decent human being and mind your own business and let others do the same.

… feeling guilty. I know this one is just my own,  letting other people make me feel so. I need to learn to stand up more for myself. But I firmly believe it shouldn’t be so. It’s again basic decency – I’m not doing anything to hurt anybody, why in the world with all the criticism?!

… feeling like no one wants to tell the truth. It’s all criticism to get someone to act the way you want them to, passive-aggressive behaviour and generally people wanting to control other people. I know what that says about them but the problem is they don’t.

… being tired because stress has caused a disbalance in my hormones. It’s nothing big but it is big enough to make me feel tired most of the time. And then it’s a vicious circle getting motivated to exercise and bring back energy.

Mostly I’m just tired of wondering where is this world going to? 

Does this mean I’m getting old? 

I used to think the world is going on with some problems but generally in a good direction. Now I no longer have a good feeling about it.

I’ll leave you with a song that’s been on repeat for me for quite some time.

https://youtu.be/u9Dg-g7t2l4

Long time, no sea

Sorry, couldn’t help myself. πŸ™‚ It’s been a long time since I wrote anything, and well, this post will come with sea photos. πŸ˜‰ 

Yes, I’m on vacation. Finally.

I had (still have) time to think about what’s been going on in my life and pondering the reasons why I no longer have the time and/or energy to read and write. Honestly though, I haven’t come to any smart conclusions. Life takes you on a path and before you know it, all that once brought you pleasure as a hobby suddenly no longer fits into the hours in a day. I hate that.

So I spent my first week of vacation basically doing nothing. Just resting from the hectic pace my life is when I go to work. 

I sleep a lot, go for a swim, do some yoga and pilates and read. I’m just doing things I enjoy and that bring me relaxation and hopefully, one of these relaxed days I will have an epiphany and realize how to make time in my routine for things that make me happy and relaxed.
Because when I’m happy and relaxed, nice things happen to me. Like talking to a neighbor and discovering a new perfume gem I now covet. 

Cartier’s La Panthere. 

I was so surprised to find myself enjoying a perfume I thought was for older ladies. πŸ˜€ Oh, well, I’m the first to admit I’m prejudiced. 

Anyway, I hope to do a review sometime in the near future. So far, I can only say that after reading the notes, I am no longer surprised I fell for it. There is gardenia hidden in its heart. πŸ™‚ 

And to leave you now with typical Smokvica sights:

My New year’s resolutions

(not that they usually do me any good, I just basically follow my own way πŸ˜‰ )

But, I woke up today with all the possibilities for this year clear in my head and with a strong urge to make them happen. Who knows, maybe now when I write them down, some of them actually happen. πŸ™‚ I.E. I make them happen. πŸ˜‰

1. Write more. Especially about perfume (there are many great perfumes I’ve tried lately that I want to write about).

2. Get organized – I have this feeling that if I get my different parts of my life better organized, it would make me faster when doing something and less stressed when I’m in a hurry

3. De-clutter all aspects of my life. I really feel I have too much stuff. Yes, I love shopping (I’m a true consumerist) but I would enjoy my stuff more if it didn’t get lost among all other stuff. πŸ™‚

4. Figure out what is it that I want to do. Really want to do.

5. Do more yoga. Or pilates. It goes extremely well with running. And does wonders for my lower back.

6. Relax. I’m a really tense person who wants everything right now. I realized I have a problem enjoying the moment so I want to learn how to do that. Or just be more aware of it so I can enjoy life more. There’s no hurry. πŸ˜‰

7. Keep on running. Ok, that’s nothing new but running helps me in so many ways that I just want to keep on doing it.

It’s that time of year (again)

When theΒ linden trees are blooming in Zagreb. πŸ™‚

I’ve been debating with myself if I should post about it (again) but walking the streets of Zgareb the last few days in the summer sun (it feels so warm) and smelling the lazy, sweet, seductive smell of the linden flowers, I just can’t help myself but share it. linden

It will last for a week, maybe two and the smell will be gone and I’ll forget again how manyΒ linden trees are in Zagreb and how wonderful it smells when they bloom.

Plus, they always make me think of my childhood. I just realized that they bloom close to the end of the school year. No wonder my memories of that smell are so positive. πŸ˜‰

Spring-y thoughts

It is finally real spring here. It’s warm, everything is blooming and the sun shines for most of the day (and it’s day most of the day – no more early night).

People tend to ask what is your favorite season. And even though I really love them all, I think spring is slightly my favorite. It always feels like I’m waking from hibernation, I have more energy and I have will to do many things soΒ days just fill up with fun activities. It seems everyone is more in the mood to be friendly and go out more.

I, for one, feel enthusiastic again about all the things I love doing. It seems I prefer doing them in the light of day. πŸ˜‰

Perfume (and smell)-wise I’ve been wearing Shalimar Parfum Initial quite a lot lately (thanks to Birgit’s sale). I’m also waiting for the air to get fragrant as it’s spring but not much has been happening in that regard. The best I could smell was dewy grass and warm, wet sidewalks (we did have our share of rain lately).

But I know only days from now the air will be fragrant and it will just keep on getting better as spring gets in full bloom.

I’ll finish today with some photos I took on Sunday while at a friend’s barbecue (outside the city).

DSC_0584 DSC_0588 DSC_0589

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